After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize