wrigley field is MILF paradise
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
