Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
