thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
