your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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