OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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