During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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