just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
