yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
