It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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