His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
