My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
