watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Even the bartender felt bad for me
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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