She's JV to your varsity
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize