Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize