Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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