i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
