I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
