She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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