This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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