Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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