so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize