things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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