You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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