just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
