Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize