Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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