'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
