Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
