id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
