It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
third nipple confirmed
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
