So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
