i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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