Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
