Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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