If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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