Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Michael Bay diarrhea
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
is wine microwaveable?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
