Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
