cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
