someone threw a dead crab at me
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
