You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
