Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize
