You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Four minutes until I can fart!
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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