I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize