do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
wow bdsm is so cute
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
