So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
And my parents said I crawled through the house
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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