ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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