I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
