You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
