my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
