Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
