well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
