omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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