This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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