Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
