so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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