Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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