this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
