And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
