saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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