i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
