How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
