He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
not ubering you a puppy
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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