I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize