We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
