I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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