I wannas sexs uuuuu
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
